A MAN'S BATHROOM

The other day a couple of us were having a Water Cooler round table discussion and the topic was the bathroom. As most people are aware a bathroom is a man's sanctuary. Many might remember the Home Improvement episode Tim Taylor and Al Borland introduced Binford's Man's Bathroom. As fantasical as this may have been it was not by any means far from the buried desires of a man. Aside from a well stocked shop a Man's bathroom would be a next priority, while a woman finds it better to invest in a kitchen and bedroom, Go Figure!?!?!
Our conversation centered mostly on THE LIBRARY. We all pretty much agreed that a man cannot enter the inner sanctum without reading material, hence the rash of sales on bathroom magazine racks. Herein lies the mystery, while man can disappear for hours a woman seldom spends any quality time in the bathroom, unless you read the recent news article of the woman who spent two years glued to the toilet seat.
You never see a magazine rack with "Ladies Home Journal", Woman's Day", Better Homes and Garden". No, what you see is Sports Illustrated, Mechanic's Illustrated, WOOD magazine, and the most recent copy of Bathroom Trivia.
Now one of women's complaint is there just is not enough time in a day to rest and relax let alone sit down and read, why they would pass up on one of the greatest opportunities available to them each day to just sit down grab a good book and be in their own space for an hour or two.
It is another one of those mysteries of life that only a woman understands. No wonder Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, they are definitely worlds apart in priorities.

I HAVE LIGHTS!!!

This past year I have been putting some fix-up money into my old beater 66 Chevy 1/2 ton. Sadly, I have not been able to get the directional lights to work even after some extensive work on the light system. Last weekend my good friend Mike was coerced into helping me find the root of the problem:
After arming ourselves with an overfilling breakfast brunch at Clearwater Casino, we began our travel where no man has tread, the inside of the steering column. (Iwas told the problem was in the directional lever)
After finally removing the horn button, gad that thing is loud when you haven't disconnected the battery, Mike was finally able to break the steering wheel loose. I suggest you never use a 5-pound ball peen hammer to do this unless you have a lot of duct tape ready to make repairs.
Amazingly Mike seemed to know exactly what he was doing because in a flash he had my directional switch removed and torn apart. Using his handkerchief he cleaned all the contacts, removed the contacts then couldn't put them back in, decided to rebend everything until most items appeared to fit in place. It was then he made the profound statement "well everything looks good here." What happened next was nothing more than a miracle, Mike had wires pulled out here and there and was poking his meter in places I had no idea you could poke. Whatever he read on his meter told him things were good. You couldn't prove it by me all I saw was numbers and letters bouncing all around the screen, but I accepted his word for it. I suggested we replace the flasher, the little relay on the fuse panel. Now you know the first thing they teach you in Electricians school is check the switch or circuit breaker first; being men neither one of us thought that. However that was what it took a brand new flasher and everything worked uh, with a slight exception. Now when ever I signal right every light in my pickup flashes, literally, the headlights, the brake lights, interior lights. Does anyone have a good suggestion???

TRIP TO MARYHILL

This past weekend I had the pleasure of visiting a place I had every intention of seeing but never went. It is the Maryhill Museum and Stongehenge Replica. What a wonderful experience and one I would reccomend to anyone EXCEPT for the trip there. The MWR (Morale, Welfare and Recreation) Department offered this trip and I thought it would be great to have someone drive. It started out well except for having to get up at five in the morning on a Saturday, a day that I usually sleep in until 7:00 at least. There were 17 people signing up for the trip and because of this we did not ave enough to warrant the big bus. What we had was the Little bus. I am certain many of us have been privy to the chagrin that goes with riding "The Little Bus" and I now feel sorry for all the "Challenged" individuals that are relegated to this torture.
Used to be that I was somnewhat envious that they had their own "Special Bus" but let me relate to you the downside to this.
The seats although more comfortable than a school bus and airplane were less comfortable that a Tour bus. The aisle was barely wide enough for an average person of healthy weight to squeeze through sideways. And every bump, highway seperation and metal plate sent a back jarring, jaw rattling shock through my system. When the bus took a curve you had to hold on because unlike cars that have built in sway bars, either these didn't work or they had been removed and I was thrown across the aisle getting intimate with my fellow passengers on more than one occassion.
The final straw was, at the beginning of the trip we were told we would be making frequent stops, I failed English and word definition in high scholl and now I know why. I thought frequent meant FREQUENT like every couple of hours or so, NOT beginning of trip to destination. You should realize we are a group of 50 + tourists on bladder control pills and diapers that frequent means EVERY Rest stop. When I mentioned this the tour guide looked in shock at me that she missed the Rest Stops, her comment:oh I didn't see them that must have been while I was sleeping. Yeah well lets see how much sleep you get tonight while you are mopping down The Little Bus.
I must say on the return trip we stopped at every rest stop and gas station we cam upon.
As I said it was a wonderful destination I will describe in future postings. JUST DON'T TAKE "THE SPECIAL BUS!"

THE BUM ON MY CORNER

The past year or so there are two individuals that station them selves outside one of the gates to the shipyard. One of these gentlemen is, judging from his appearance, in his late 60's, 70's and he wears polka dot 60's style pants. He is there most afternoons passing out "The Word Of God." Most of you who know me know I am anti-religious and do not appreciate evangelising.
The other gentleman, perhaps slightly younger, is present most mornings 5:30 AM, with his little cut-off milk container in front of him. Seranading us on his harmonica with a tune he certainly must have composed himself. He plays this same tune every morning and has lately added the effects of what sounds like a train whistle. And as we pass by him he interrupts his playing to say "G'mornin'", which I ignore. Although he is not offensive he does have a musty odor about him, slightly like a locker room.
The first gentleman I ignore as well and generally with a distaste in my mind. I entertained thoughts of grabbing his material and wadding it up in front of him with any type of spontaneous biting remark I could utter.
The second gentleman, I had a habit of walking on the other side of the street until they tore it for repairs. This forced me to pass by and ignore this gentleman each morning again, wishing that he wouldn't show up.
Now as much as I try not to I know that I am a bigot and the past few days I have had some pretty conflicting feelings.
This morning as I passed our early morning seranader, although I still ignore him when he says "G'mornin'", I thought to myself; How would I feel if they weren't there. And my feelings became even more confused.
I think I would miss them, I would wonder what happened to them, would they be dead, would God strike me for having such selfish thoughts? I don't think so, but I can say I think I want them to stay. I am not saying I embrace them, don't go that far, but they are a part of my world and they belong there. Maybe someday I may even smile back??

ONE OF MY FAVORITE PET PEEVES

Recently I purchased a brand new BarBQue for the up coming event in August when my sisters and nieces and nephews come visiting. Now all of you at one time or another have experienced this, but like me, you are accustomed to silently protesting and internalizing your frustrations. As with many of our items now days, "Some Assembly Required." Now I don't mind "SOME" assembly required, it is not what I envsioned when there are 17 boxes all sealed in carefully number array on my living room floor and the first words are: "Missing a Part?" DO NOT RETURN PRODUCT TO STORE. Solution call Monday through Wednesday between 8:00 AM Eastern Time (which by the way is 5:00 AM Pacific DAYLIGHT Savings time)and 10:00 AM Eastern Time (7:00 AM Pacific Time)and use this convenient toll free 1-800-you'll be sorry number. Okay so I was already up Monday and I had nothing better to do than get ready for work. I dialed the 1-800-Pain in The B*** got the first message, "Your call is important to us, if you know your parties extension", What? Wait! are you telling me others have had to call often enough they personally know these people? Shoot I am only on the first page, what is page 15 going to be like. Not knowing an extension I choose option 2, "thank you, now do you wish to have a service manager, a sales representative, a rebate representative , a billing manager, catalog, missing parts ... well you get the story. Everything is there but "Hello this is Jan how can I help you?" At 6:00 AM I had finally made it through all the menus and was assured a representative would be on the line momentarily when I heard this click and seconds later, a buzz, in my ear. Is anyone interested in an un-assembled brand new BarBQue complete with instruction book that on page 2 states, "This unit should be assembled by a Certified Service Technician."

2009 AN EXCITING YEAR

In 2009, several have requested a trip on Highway 101 along the Oregon coast through the Redwood forest and in to San Francisco. We will probably stay two days in San Francisco and camp at various spots the rest of the way. We shall return by way of Interstate 5 through Yreka, Ca., La Grande, and Portland Oregon. At minimum this trip will be 10 - 14 days and will happen in the later part of August 2009.
Any interested parties again, are welcome to join us. If you have never been along the Oregon coast or through the Redwoods it is a wonderful and humbling experience. There is so much to share and learn from the quaint little town of Astoria (location of Kindergarten Cop and Gremilins), to Seaside home of one of the larger US Campgrounds, Tillamuk home of famous cheese and Navy WWII Blimp Barnes, Lincoln City rugged shoreline and the most delicious bakery. Then The Sea Lion Caves, the US home of Free Willy oh my gosh so much to see.

2010 What A Year Planned

What are you doing in 2010. Well if you have very little going on during that time why not enjoy the World Famous Abundis Family Reunion. As of this publication the exact date (it will be in the summer) and location has not been determined. The only exact thing that has occured is the year. Yep we are going to do it and you are needed to participate in feedback and planning.
It is our intent to include not only the immediate Abundis family but our large extended family that has for years felt a part of us, what sad mis-guided souls. But we feel honored that they wish to be a part of us.
So what do you need to do. # 1 suggest a venue. Where would you like to meet. # 2 what would you enjoy seeing offered as activities or local interest. The rest we will provide as time goes on.
Your present contacts for this Earth Shattering event are Stephanie Malone, (take a bow Steph) and Ray Abundis (he already takes enough bows).