WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT

f-stop, shutter speed, white balance, AV, Tv, Flash drive, RAW, RAW-JPG - WAIT! my brain is going on overload. I took this class for fun not to memorize a foreign dictionary. I have 1,289 buttons on my camera, an instruction manual the size of a dictionary and a brain the size of the pea.
Trying to keep up with all the new terms I have to learn and all the buttons I have to push to make an image come life is giving me a migraine.
Whatever happened to my wonderful one button Brownie insta-matic? Aim And Shoot. Yep that's what I want RETRO!!!!
Last night I couldn't even access my programs because everything was in Arabic. I am writing frantically to keep up with the directions from the professor who keeps turning out the lights so I have to try and write in the DARK!
My eyes have RED circles that look like one of those twirling discs people use to hypnotize the unwary, my hair has cowlicks stticking up all over and I really need help.
So I lean across my desk to ask my classmate if she could give me a hand.
Unfazed she looks at me with that quizzical, are you kidding me, you can't get this look, while she is busily typing away on her personal Blog Site and looking at the web sites of other photographers, SHE HAS ALREADY PRINTED HER PHOTOGRAPHS while I am still trying to find mine.
With half a heart she reaches over, pushes a button and all of sudden my computer lights up the screen starts rolling lights are flashing, web sites are scrolling and Eureka!! There it is. Just like the professor said it was.
I don't like her, my class mate. ;~)
She never takes notes, she never reads assignments, says she is too busy taking pictures, she already has 2,139 pictures enough to finish the course and I am stuck on 36 all of my dog lying down and standing up.
I don't like her, my classmate. ;~)
But you know what? I am stuck with her because she knows which button to push to make my computer work.