HELP LET ME OUT!

One of the most memorable things about visiting my sister Stephanie and her family is the hours we spending laughing and telling stories. From a family of thirteen and many more in offspring, there are so many stories we have told and have yet to discover. This evening on our first major stop of our journey through Idaho, on our way to Texas, to enjoy a wonderful, specially prepared dinner by Stephanie. To our surprise she had invited her son, Tony, and daughter, Tori. We missed you Misty.
For many of you having spent any length of time with me and my brother Doug it is understandable why most of my sibling's off-spring hesitate to introduce any new girlfriends or boyfriends to either of us without a disclaimer of our personalities, unending wit and sarcasm. My brother Doug's especially.
Tonight was no exception Tony, my naive Godson brought his girlfriend to the slaughter. Her first comment was, "I have already been briefed and I am prepared!" NOT! You can never prepare for the rewarding experience of a first time meeting with Doug. It is only as a salvation I accompany him to buffer the pain and agony. Tonight was no exception. Tonight, if the barbeque was not hot enough Kim was ROASTED to perfection. I can truthfully say from a magnificent dressing down by Doug she was provisionally allowed to spend the remainder of the evening with us and later proved to be worth her intiation by paving the trail to an unmerciful dressing down of boyfriend Tony.
Here is the story: Kim to Tori (Stephanie's daughter) "I have found the perfect wall paper for our bathroom." Tori: "Really what?" Kim: "Wallpaper with Outhouses." This immediately brought laughter from Tori and Stephanie and an explanation to those of us not privy to the story. It seems that Nels (Tori's husband) and Tony were up camping and while Nels was passed out in the back of the vehicle Tony LOCKED HIMSELF IN THE OUTHOUSE. While Tony was red with embarrassment Tori suggested: "Tony, why don't you tell them the story." Tony's response: "Which time?" Oh, oh, NO. You didn't say that Tony did you? You didn't just say: "WHICH TIME?" Yep, he did, he not only locked himself in the outhouse this time but TWO OTHER TIMES besides. Now any of us that have experienced Outhouse use know it is virtually impossible to lock yourself in let alone the fact that, most outhouses do not have much more than blocks of woods as handles, old screen door hook and eyes, or a block of wood that shoves into a slot. So how do you lock yourself inside an outhouse. Tony can and Tony did not once, but three times, so here is the rest of the story. Several years ago Tony's dad Gary, took Tony to one of the Casinos in Nevada and they had modernized their urinals with automatic flush-o-meters. This opened a wonderful opportunity for Gary and he proceeded to tell Tony that the way these units worked was to stand back and say, "I'm done now." Bang! On cue the flush-o-meter opened up and water gushed out. Tony had never forgotten this valuable lesson from his dad so on three seperate occassions in three different outhouses Tony stood up and shouted at the door, "okay I'm done now!" SOME PEOPLE WILL NEVER GET OFF THE LITTLE BUS!